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The phone rang 3 times before the secretary answered it. With each ring Elaine Moore thought that her heart would stop if she had to bear one more ring without an answer. Her palms were sweaty and she was frantically pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor. Her red hair, which hung past her shoulders, was a tousled mess. She had literally been pulling her hair out with worry. Her son Hayden should have been to school by 7:45. School started at 8:00, but he always got there at 7:45.
Seven days ago, when the rain had flooded Bale creek, she had allowed her son to take the shorter route to school which took him across the railroad tracks at 5th street. She had never allowed him to go this way before. Ever since he had started taking that route, she had called every 5 minutes to see if he was there. Everyday, when she called at 7:45, he had been there. She could relax and finish getting ready for work. Today was different. It was 7:50 and he had not yet arrived.
The phone rang once and she started tangling her hand into her hair. She was shaking and having trouble breathing. The phone rang again and she started pulling her hair and snarling it more around her hand. She paced faster back and forth from the refrigerator to the sink. The phone rang again and she pulled her hand out of her hair and paced faster. Just before it rang a fourth time and she was certain that she would have a heart attack, the line opened and the voice of the secretary answered.
Ryland Park Middle School main office, Carol speaking. How may I assist you today? the voice asked.
Its Elaine Moore again. Please tell me if my son is there yet, trembled Elaine.
Im sorry Mrs. Moore, but he hasnt checked in yet. He still has 10 minutes before he is late, though. I wouldnt worry about it just yet, maam.
Oh, God. Ok. Thank you.
She dropped the phone and tried to sit down at the kitchen table, but she stood back up immediately and continued pacing. Her eyes were fixed on the clock above the stove. 7:53. She would call again at 7:55. Just two more minutes. He would be there in two more minutes and everything would be ok. The time passed by slowly as time does when you are watching the clock.
At 7:55 she called again. This time the secretary answered after the first ring. Mrs. Moore? she asked.
Yes, is he there?
Im sorry Mrs. Moore, but
Fuck! she interrupted and slammed the phone down again. Now she was really beginning to be worried. Her hand wandered back up to her hair, and without realizing it, she pulled several handfuls out before the hands of the clock were at the 8 and the 12. She picked up the phone and dialed again. It was 8:00 and he was late.
Mrs. Moore, Im sorry, but, started the secretary.
Oh, please dont say that, she began to cry.
Im sorry Mrs. Moore, but he isnt here yet. Dont worry Mrs. Moore. You know how boys are. He probably just got distracted. Im sure hell be here any minute.
You dont know my son. He would never do this to me. Im going to go find him. Without hanging up the phone, Elaine Moore ran out of the kitchen door and started sprinting down the street. If anything happened to her son, she would die.
In her head was one thought, rather one image, playing over and over. She tried to think positively. She tried to tell herself that he was just being a kid, that she would find him skipping rocks into the Bale. She tried to tell herself that when she found him she wouldnt scream at him for making her crazy like this. But the only thought, rather the only image going through her head was her sons unrecognizable face smashed and strewn across the tracks. The thought, rather the image, made her sick to her stomach. She started to feel light headed. She started to feel the burning in her legs as she sprinted. She started to feel the cramping all over her body. She started realizing that she was 40 something (not 36 like she kept telling everyone), that she was borderline overweight, that she hadnt so much as climbed a flight of stairs in 5 years, that she was a run down, middle aged woman on the brink of a mental breakdown who was about to find her dead sons body ripped to shreds and bloody on the railroad tracks.
Up ahead, as she sprinted as fast as her fat legs would allow down 5th street, she could see the arches. She squinted, hoping to be able to see if her son was there. She ran faster, the same image in her head. The same feeling in her stomach. The same fat old lady who was about to lose her son.
As she got closer, she thought she saw something on top of one of the arches. It looked like someone was standing on top and hanging something over the edge. As she got loser she saw that someone was on top of the arch. She could barely it out, but the figure seemed to go from standing, to kneeling, to laying. She couldnt make out what was hanging, but it was pretty big.
Haddon, She screamed, Is that you Haddon?
She saw the figure look up for a moment and then slide over the edge, hanging by the hands. She was sure it was him.
Haddon! What are you doing? Get the hell down from there! Youre going to break your legs, for Gods sake!
She tried to run faster. What was he doing up there? Why was her son hanging from the railroad arches? Suddenly, she realized something she hadnt thought of until now. She was so worried that she would find her son dead on the tracks that she forgot to notice the time. He couldnt have been hit by a train, because the train doesnt come until 8:05. Because the train was coming down the tracks right now.
This realization seemed to give her a second burst of energy. She ran faster than she thought possible. As she got closer she saw her son begin swinging back and forth. She saw the other hanging object begin to slowly sway back and forth. The closer she got, the faster her son and the object would swing.
The train was getting closer and closer. She could hear the chug of the wheels. She could hear the screaming whistle getting louder. She looked and saw the engine moving faster than she thought possible, moving closer and closer to her son and whatever it was that he was swinging with from the top of the railroad arch.
(The train passed under the first of the arches) She was about to see her son get hit by a train. She thought finding him already dead would be bad, but actually seeing it happen and not being able to stop it was worse. No, it was more than worse. It was the worst thing that she could imagine happening. (The train passed under the 10th arch) She was going to see her son get hit, fall to the ground, and get run over by the speeding wheels. She was going to see his limbs getting ripped from his body. She would see the blood. She would see him getting torn to pieces as the train tried to stop, his fragile body being dragged under the seized wheels. (The train passed under the 20th arch) She would try to pull him out from under the train; his body still warm, his blood still pouring out onto the rocks.
(The train passed under the 25th arch) As the train approached Elaine stopped running and screamed at the top of her lungs. (The 26th) She could feel her heart tearing in two; (the 27th) her world was coming to an end. (The 28th) Her son was about to die (the 29th and final arch before the one her son would die hanging from).
Elaine fell to the ground tearing at her shirt in agony as the train rushed under the 30th arch. Her son was dead. What reason did she have for living? Without much though she stood up and began running as fast as she could toward the train. She could no longer feel her aching body. She was no longer aware of her age, or her weight, or her wasted life. She was numb. As she got closer to the train, she was numb. As she jumped into the air, she was numb. As she hit the side of the train and her legs were pulled under the wheels, she was numb. As the train dragged her broken frame 30 feet along the tracks as it came to a stop, she was numb. If her son was dead, what did she have to live for?